Axe Cop, “Babysitting Uni-Baby”

“Babysitting Uni-Baby” begins with Axe Cop spying on a couple parked in the woods, as the girl is on his list of bad guys (Her name’s Poison Poison and her power is Poison Punches). Axe Cop is interrupted, however, when Flute Cop calls and tells him he needs a babysitter so he can take the wife on an anniversary trip to Hawaii. He tells Axe Cop he’ll pay $15. “I’ll be right there,” says Axe Cop.

Flute Cop tells Axe Cop to keep his hands off of Uni-Baby’s horn, since it holds great power, but of course Axe Cop listens to no one and grabs Unibaby by the horn as soon as her parents are gone. Chaos ensues.

“Babysitting Uni-Baby” then turns into a back and forth between Axe Cop and Uni-Baby. She poops too much. So he only feeds her one meal a day. He’s bored, having no bad guys to chop up. He thinks babies are dumb. So he and Sockarang make cyborg versions of themselves and take off with Uni-baby’s horn, into Magic World.

I feel like this is saying something about how some people view raising children, or more broadly, how they feel about an unwanted chore. I’m not going to go too deep here, but I feel as if Malachai and the writers have touched on what it’s like to do a job we don’t like. We find ways out of it, and hang the consequences. And then, of course, it all comes back to bite us on the ass.

After a merry chase through Magic World (Magic Police are the slowest policemen) in which Axe Cop and Sockarang are first booed and then hailed as great magicians — by showering the audience, who don’t want to know how it’s done, with money; a commentary on the way in which people choose to maintain mystery –“Babysitting Uni-Baby” gets scary as the cyborgs turn evil and attempt to kill Uni-Baby. Her parents check in with Axe Cop, who reluctantly agrees with Sockarang that it’s time to go back to earth and save the day.

But only after the Magic Police arrive and cuff them, shouting “Abracahandcuffs!”

However, Axe Cop comes to realize that everything, even poop, has its purpose. The only way to rescue themselves, and Uni-Baby, from the cyborgs is to feed her enough so that she’ll poop, which will in turn allow them to use the poop cannon attached to the stroller. I kid you not.

Although Axe Cop still thinks babies are stupid, he admits that they can be useful. Especially when it comes to making some sweet moola from the parents: “That’ll be fifteen dollars, please.”

“Babysitting Uni-Baby” is an interesting episode in that it strays from the usually chaotic neutral zone of the show into a more pointed lesson. The work we don’t want to do, the work we gripe and complain about, is still worth doing even if it’s just providing enough money to pay for our next meal. And once in a while, that thing we don’t understand, the fact of life that seems so odd, might actually be the saving grace of our lives.

Sadly, I don’t know that Axe Cop will go much further. There were originally going to be six episodes aired, but going back to look at the schedule, I only see the four that have already aired. Perhaps we’re getting two in the near future, but I doubt at this point FOX is set on turning it into a half hour show.

While it wouldn’t be Axe Cop’s fault that FOX’s ADHD block isn’t measuring up to Adult Swim, it might, unfortunately, still get the axe.

Or maybe Axe Cop will chop the bad guys’ heads off and we’ll get a few more stories.

K.M. Cone

K.M. Cone

K.M. Cone is a story nerd, particularly for the episodic stories told via the medium of television. When not parked in front of the TV, K.M. Cone can be found writing kooky urban fantasy on her personal site, attempting to learn German, or making a huge pot of soup for her friends, who are probably coming over to join her in her latest TV or animated film obsession.
K.M. Cone

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  • hwertz

    I found they may be airing — I couldn’t find them either, only to find that the combination of Axe Copy & High School USA! is now listed as “Animation Domination High-Def” (note to Fox, renaming your shows mid-season makes DVRs not find them!) However, only 1 out of 2 Fox channels I get lists it, the other has a tabloid show listed instead, which is still not a great sign.